Big Boy Bed

I wrote about the loss of a bedroom in a previous post. The idea around what was lurking in the back of my head recently with respect to how a very common event can have long lasting ramifications in one’s life. I lived in 5 different cities before I was 9.

I always considered most of these early life events of mine to simply be “part of my story”. They are, but I basically stuffed the trauma of the event down into some crevice of my mind. I let it linger and hang about.

One of the ways this has manifested in my life is to take care of others before me. I have a tendency to forget about me as I move forward. I have been trying to figure out how to compensate for this recently, without OVER compensating for it.

An example is my bedroom. Over the course of the last couple of years as I have been coping with the end of my marriage, my mattress has been on the floor. It started as a means to an end, but eventually, it turned into a symbol of the transition I was in. I was living a bit like a college student. Mattress on the floor, a wool blanket that I earned as a Purdue Track varsity athlete covered my window as the blinds were broken. I didn’t change any of this as I was not ready to change. I set some mental goals that I wanted to achieve during this transition to act as a reward.

Two years later, I am here. I got my big boy bed and I have come full circle from the loss of my bedroom as a child, and I’ve gained a bedroom that I can be proud of. It has reminded me that symbols and goals are important. Self-care and a wee bit of hedonism (bamboo sheets are dreamy).

Sometimes this stuff takes a bit of a nudge to get over the hump. This was definitely the case for me. My unsolicited $0.02 is to do something for yourself here in the beginning of 2021. After last year, you deserve it. I’m willing to bet virtually everyone out there has been putting an inordinate amount of energy outwards. It’s time to turn inwards for just a little bit. Make it something that you will be reminded of. A piece of artwork. That shirt you wanted. Something you wouldn’t normally do. Do it. Just this once.

You’re welcome.