The Blessing and the Curse

Yesterday, I got the wonderful roller coaster ride that is Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). It is, without question, something that I both love and hate about myself.  I live in this world of constant mental chaos.  But, at the same time incredible clarity.

I wake up in the morning and all is well.  In fact, it is a day that feels as though I have it by the tail.  A cup of coffee over a chapter of Game of Thrones, a quick shower and I’m off.  Meetings all day, prospective clients to meet and woo. Just what I want and need.  A day that keeps me moving forward.  Not much down time to think….or so I thought.

The blessing side of it all is triggered by a prospective client.  A job that has the potential to tap into my soul.  The prospect of working on “the perfect job for me” elicits a tidal wave of creative vision.  My mind is running at a mile a minute saying things like, “How will I do this? Can we do that? OH! What about THAT?!?”

In the space of 15 minutes while driving to my first meeting at 8 AM the curse sneaks up on me and says, “Boo!”.  The clarity and focus that is brought together by the dreams of dreaming big are shattered as a flash of red hits my eyes coming from about 20 feet over the street. A split-second later it registers that I am entering the intersection with the light having just turned red. Another split second later, the flash of the red light camera capturing my moment of clarity that had my mind in a completely different world. Luckily I coasted through the intersection and nobody is hurt.  The elation that was my day shatters in a quick flash of light.

It sent my day spinning into infinity. A day full of potential is now dictated by the ups and downs of frustration of how I let myself do something so stupid. The rest of the day, it was like I had a little Homer Simpson sitting on my shoulder saying, “Stupid Brain”.